Heaven

[oldskydog]

MILITARY AVIATOR HEAVEN
>
> Everybody's a Lieutenant, except God. He's a General or Admiral
> (as the mood strikes him).
>
> You only come to work when you're going to fly.
>
> You fly three times a day, if you wish, except on Friday.
>
> You never run out of fuel.
>
> You never run out of ammo.
>
> Your missions are one hour long (or longer, if you desire) and
> no briefings are ever required.
>
> Sorties are air-to-air or air-to-ground, your choice.
>
> You shoot the gun on every mission.
>
> There are no check rides.
>
> It is always VFR, and there are never any ATC delays.
>
> You can fly anywhere you want and down to 10 feet
> AGL, if you feel like it.
>
> There are no 'over G's'.
>
> The airplanes never break.
>
> There are never any Fatals ... I mean ...... you're already there.
>
> There are never any Duty Officer assignments.
>
> You always fly overhead landing patterns with initial approach
> at 20 feet, then you break up to the left.
>
> You can go cross-country anytime you desire------the further
> the better.
>
> There are no ORI/UEI'S
>
> There are no Flight Surgeons
>
> There are no Staff jobs.
>
> There are no additional duties
>
> Friday Happy Hour is mandatory. 'Happy Hour' begins at 1400
> hours and lasts until 0200 hours or later.
>
> The bartenders are all big bosomed friendly blondes.
>
> Beer is free, but whiskey costs a nickel.
>
> The bar serves only Chivas Regal, Jack Daniels and Beefeaters....
> plus 500 different kinds of beer.
>
> The girls are all friendly and each Aviator is allowed three.
>
> Country and Western music is free on the jukebox.
>
> You never lose your room key and your buddies never leave
> you stranded.
>
> The sun always shines, and you can put your hat in your
> pants pocket.
>
> Flight suits are allowed in the 'O' Club at all times.
>
> The BX always has every item you ask for, most being free.
>
> There are never any crosswind landings, and the runways
> are always dry.
>
> Control tower fly-bys for wheels-up checks can be made
> at 600 kts.
>
> There are never any noise complaints.
>
> Full afterburner climbs over your house are encouraged.
>
> Fitness reports always contain the statement , 'Outstanding
> Officer.'
>
> Functions requiring 'Mess Dress' never occur.
>
> All Air Traffic Controllers are friendly and always provide
> priority handling.'
>
> 'Ace' status is conferred upon all Aviators entering Heaven.
>
> AND.....
>
> YOU NEVER HAVE TO GROW UP !!!!
>
:bow:cheers:p