dq409
12-18-2003, 02:20 PM
It's Time to Buy a New Car When:
You're driving that "Accord" mentioned in Joshua 9:2 and Acts 7:57
You can no longer convince your girlfriend that view of the road through that hole in the floorboard will become a popular extra on new cars.
Your engine smokes so much the local health department recently tried to recruit you to help with mosquito abatement this summer.
When you go to the car wash more paint than dirt comes off.
Your tax adviser has suggested you could save money by purchasing your own tow truck.
It's getting difficult to find a readily available source of horsehair whenever your seats need reupholstered.
Your VIN is 000001.
The "spark adjustment" handle keeps coming off and you can't find a mechanic who knows what it is much less how to fix it.
You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.
A 15-Minute Jiffy Lube takes 3 days.
Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."
When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"
While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
You keep losing your spouse on left turns (but this may be a good thing…)
Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.
Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel.
Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Your gas gauge measures in cubits
You're driving that "Accord" mentioned in Joshua 9:2 and Acts 7:57
You can no longer convince your girlfriend that view of the road through that hole in the floorboard will become a popular extra on new cars.
Your engine smokes so much the local health department recently tried to recruit you to help with mosquito abatement this summer.
When you go to the car wash more paint than dirt comes off.
Your tax adviser has suggested you could save money by purchasing your own tow truck.
It's getting difficult to find a readily available source of horsehair whenever your seats need reupholstered.
Your VIN is 000001.
The "spark adjustment" handle keeps coming off and you can't find a mechanic who knows what it is much less how to fix it.
You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.
A 15-Minute Jiffy Lube takes 3 days.
Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."
When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"
While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
You keep losing your spouse on left turns (but this may be a good thing…)
Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.
Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel.
Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Your gas gauge measures in cubits