Jane and Arlene.....

Dick MacKenzie

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 9
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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.
 

61BUBBLE348

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 11
I could get this wrong, but here goes.

the big Black guy walks out of the shower after a game of Gridiron, his team mate sees a tattoo on his old fella and says TILT was a funny word to have tattooed.
The Black guy says proudly that don't say TILT, it says The Mississippi River Runs Like Molasses In The Winter Time.
 
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