At the the convenience store in Newark ...I went into the gas station to get a Coke and as I went in, I noticed these 2 police officers watching a woman who was smoking while pumping her gas. I saw her and thought, is this lady stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there! Anyway, I minded my own business and went inside and got my drink.
As I was paying for my drink, I heard someone screaming!! Like I’m talkin' violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!! She was swinging her arm, running around going nuts!!
When I got outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!! Then they put handcuffs on her and threw her in the squad car. I was thinking, arrested? Shouldn’t she be in an ambulance, not a squad car??
And being nosy as I am, I asked the police what they were arresting her for.
He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
"These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."
She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"
A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"