Time For Some Blond Jokes

oldskydog

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 10

DISNEYLAND​
Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and
turned around and went home.


FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooo, can you see Florida ?'


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you?'


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead went into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


BLONDE ON TIME
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'Helllooooo. . . ,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
In the swim-meet, after the blonde came in last competing in the breast-stroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were
using their arms.​
 

Dick MacKenzie

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 9
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R63ss

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 4
Blondes,god bless em.
Welcome to my world.
We have a little bit of a hill on our driveway.My wife hates going down it when it is snow covered.I told her it is easier if she puts her Enclave into neutral and just coast down the hill.She asked me if she should do that when she is going up it.
Another classic is when she put windshield washer fluid into the power steering reservoir.I asked why she did this when there is a picture of a steering wheel on the cap.She said because that is where the button to squirt Washer fluid is.
I could go on and on.
I love her though.
 
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