ATM Procedures

oldskydog

Well Known Member
Supporting Member 10
A new sign in the Bank Lobby
reads:
Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through ATM
machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the following procedures
when accessing their accounts."


"After months of careful research, MALE and
FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the Appropriate
steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter
PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and
receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


**********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part
is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents
on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will
call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check
register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver; waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Thanks For Banking With Us.

:eek: :brow :roll :roll
 
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