Bank ATM Procedures...

[Dick MacKenzie]

Bank ATM Procedures...

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required distance to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Ronnie Russell]

That was funny. At least I thought so. My wife, on the other hand , did not............ I guess the truth hurts !!!!!!

 

[rwagon57]

That was funny. At least I thought so. My wife, on the other hand , did not............ I guess the truth hurts !!!!!!

Ronnie, you are either a very brave man or a very lonely one

 

[tripower]

Dick, How true, How true. Ronnie, you must be brave. I dare not show that to my wife.

 

[bobs409]

I'm sure I was waiting in line behind that very same lady once. (or twice!)

 

[hotrod 409]

true story ATM drive thru

This is a true story about my best freind's wife and a drive thru ATM experience.
1. pulls up to bank ATM in a 2004 Ford crown Vic. talking on cell phone.
2. stops, puts window down,leans out window, inserts interac card, punches in
PIN number and makes withdrawl of $200.00 (still on cell phone).
3. cash comes out of machine, she attempts to grab the cash and drops some on
ground (still on cell phone) .
4. puts car into park (not in park but Reverse), opens door to reach down for
cash.
5. drops cell phone .
6. foot slips off brake and onto gas as she reaches down to grab cash and cell
phone.
7. car accelerates in reverse, jams open door between wall of bank and a
steel post 4" in diameter.
8. mangles door, post, ATM, cracks windshield of car
9. hits car behind her:takethat
10. she panics and shifts into D, drives forward, crushes cell phone and $120.00
of her $200.00 withdrawl blows away in the wind.
11. she puts car in park, shuts it off and gets out of car and yells at the guy she
backed into "why did you pull up so close behind me???":eek:
12. police called, buddy called
13. damage to Crown Vic. $2900.00:eek:
14 damage to car she hit $1150.00:eek:
15. damage to bank wall, post & ATM $3500.00.:eek:
16. she doesn't drive any more.
17. no police charges laid due to vehicles on private property. My buddy paid for
all costs incurred.
18. made fron page news of local paper where he lives.:
This happened 3 years ago and people in the small town where he lives still talk about it.

 

[DaveFoster]

At least she doesn't drive anymore, my mom's cousin was stopped at a light in Brawley California several, several years ago, I call him uncle Ed and he was in his late 80's at the time, anyway the Mayor's wife pulls up behind him at the light, brakes too fast and her pie slides off the front seat onto the floor, apparently she sees it happening and tries to catch it, in doing so her foot slips off the brake and she hits the gas and rearends Uncle Ed, the police come and blame it all on Uncle Ed, and they take his license. Aunt Lil drove after that but stayed away from the Mayor's wife or anybody else for that matter.