It doesn't Bob, It's just urine to negative thinking is all.Why does this gravy taste funny?
More Ponderings
- Thread starter oldskydog
- Start date
how does one blow their nose with one of those rings in there...
I don't think ranchers do either, maybe cattle, but I haven't heard one tell me yes or no yet.
Still trying to get my head around the fact that Take Out can mean food, dating, or murder.
You know you're over 50 when you have upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen.
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when
the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and
the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives over 200 years.
So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life!
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, Probably, but I wouldn't count on it.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
You know you're over 50 when you have upstairs ibuprofen and downstairs ibuprofen.
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when
the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and
the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives over 200 years.
So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life!
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, Probably, but I wouldn't count on it.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
A wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:
"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors
asked me if I knew what it was.
They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life.
Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so
I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how
supportive my Norman was.
Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me,
"Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman!
Always thinking of others."
"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors
asked me if I knew what it was.
They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life.
Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so
I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how
supportive my Norman was.
Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me,
"Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman!
Always thinking of others."
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes.
The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.
But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
A couple decided to go to Florida to thaw
out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to
stay at the same hotel where they spent their
honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic
schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel
schedules. So, the husband left and flew to
Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the
following day. The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room so he decided to send
an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left
out one letter in her e-mail address and, without
realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Toronto, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a
minister who was called home to glory following a heart
attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting
messages from relatives and friends. After reading the
first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's
son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: January 22, 2024
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails
to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for
your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED... A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2024 Super Bowl, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each.
It comes with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and $400.00 bar tab. Also a back stage pass to the winners locker room.
He didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St Paul's Church, in Orlando at 3pm.
Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4", about 115 lbs, and a good cook too.
She loves to fish and hunt. She'll be the one in the white dress.
It comes with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and $400.00 bar tab. Also a back stage pass to the winners locker room.
He didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St Paul's Church, in Orlando at 3pm.
Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4", about 115 lbs, and a good cook too.
She loves to fish and hunt. She'll be the one in the white dress.