This is a test for men only and all real men answer "C" to all of these
questions. Women can benefit by reviewing the questions so they get to
understand us and enrich their own lives.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you
are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
device capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of
clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
eliminating oppression and violence over the entire Earth. You decide
to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard to
social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only
really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons,
you have to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been dating a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game. She's reading the paper and suddenly, out of the clear blue sky,
tells you she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear
the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. You sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't
want to rush it.
B. Although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly
say you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. You cannot believe the 49ers called a draw play on third and
seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided you truly love a woman and you want to
spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows
the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, you say her name, and
when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and
the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her
is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes
so large you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your
legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and
has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks
the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, is
quietly trying to discard his underwear.
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control
questions. Women can benefit by reviewing the questions so they get to
understand us and enrich their own lives.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you
are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
device capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of
clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
eliminating oppression and violence over the entire Earth. You decide
to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard to
social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only
really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons,
you have to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been dating a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game. She's reading the paper and suddenly, out of the clear blue sky,
tells you she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear
the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. You sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't
want to rush it.
B. Although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly
say you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. You cannot believe the 49ers called a draw play on third and
seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided you truly love a woman and you want to
spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows
the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, you say her name, and
when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and
the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her
is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes
so large you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your
legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and
has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks
the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, is
quietly trying to discard his underwear.
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control
