> Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy:
>
> 1. A day without sunshine is like night.
>
>
>
> 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
>
>
>
> 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
>
>
>
> 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>
>
>
> 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
>
>
>
> 6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
>
>
> 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
>
>
>
> 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
>cheese in the trap.
>
>
>
> 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
>
>
>
> 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>
>
>
> 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
>
>
>
> 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
>
>
>
> 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
>
>
>
> 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>
>
>
> 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
>
>
>
> 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
>
>
>
> 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
>
>
>
> 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
>
>
>
> 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
>
>
>
> 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
>
>
>
> 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What
>the heck happened?"
>
>
>
> 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall
>off.
>
>
>
> 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
>bright untilyou hear them speak.
>
>
>
> 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of
>jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow.
>
> 1. A day without sunshine is like night.
>
>
>
> 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
>
>
>
> 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
>
>
>
> 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>
>
>
> 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
>
>
>
> 6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
>
>
> 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
>
>
>
> 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
>cheese in the trap.
>
>
>
> 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
>
>
>
> 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>
>
>
> 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
>
>
>
> 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
>
>
>
> 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
>
>
>
> 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>
>
>
> 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
>
>
>
> 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
>
>
>
> 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
>
>
>
> 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
>
>
>
> 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
>
>
>
> 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
>
>
>
> 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What
>the heck happened?"
>
>
>
> 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall
>off.
>
>
>
> 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
>bright untilyou hear them speak.
>
>
>
> 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of
>jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow.
