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Dear Wife
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was
the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or
anything. You're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the
case is, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl" but my mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty-dollars from me that morning.and your silk
boxers were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me.so take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and free!
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
Dear Wife
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was
the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or
anything. You're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the
case is, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl" but my mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty-dollars from me that morning.and your silk
boxers were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me.so take care.
Signed: Rich As Hell and free!
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
They say Timing is everything. I would say his is about 20 degree's retarded.