Fred & Verna Totten

[SS425HP]

Verna

Can't hardly write this. Verna didn't make it. I've lost the most loved, dearest thing in my life. This was my third marriage. None of the others compared. This woman was the absolute greatest.
I now have to plan a funeral. Never expected this. Don't know if I can make it. I come in the house, and she is all around me. The bed is empty. She fixed me coffee. She ALWAYS had a smile on her face.
I signed papers late last night for her to be an organ donor. She was a very giving person. This, she would have done. Maybe, this way, she will live on and so will others.
I know I'm not the first to have faced this, but it's the first time for me. How do I do this?
I guess the Lord wanted her , in his mind, more than I did. He made a huge mistake. We had talked numerous times that if one went, the other wanted to be there and go too. She has left me behind. Right now, I would just as soon go myself. I just have to do this funeral thing first.
Sorry to bring bad news to the board.

Later

Fred

 

[Phil Reed]

Verna

Fred.......I'm so sorry for your loss......

Phil

 

[Rich64SS]

Fred, so sorry for your loss. You're in my wife and my prayers.

 

[Va348]

I am so Sorry Fred


Dale

 

[bobs409]

Fred,

Im at a loss for words.

I know this is something we all must face in life but there is no way to prepare.

Hang in there Fred. Take care of things and come back when you feel ready. We'll keep the lights on for you...

If you need to talk, you have your pick of members who I know all think very highly of you. Just know that you have friends here at 348-409.com


Bob

 

[TomO]

Fred - I am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. Take care.
Tom

 

[biscaynewagon]

Fred,

I'm sorry for your loss

 

[Loafer409]

Fred,

I'm at a loss for words. I feel so very,very bad for you. Keep the faith during your time of grief.

May the Good Lord Bles and Keep You.

 

[MK IISS]

Fred:

warm thoughts and and prayers are with you in your sorrow

Richard

 

[Phil Reed]

Fred & Verna

I received an email from Fred and then called him this morning. He asked me to tell everyone how much he appreciates all the kind words, thoughts and prayers of his friends here. As expected , this was so sudden and so hard to understand "why".

But I feel Fred gave the greatest gift of all last night, when he signed the organ donor card. Verna's zest for life will be carried on now for an untold number of years in those who will benefit from Fred's decision. Verna will now be around in spirit and in the body of those she was able to help at this time.

I feel like Fatride's comment....our concern and hurt is so hard to put into words.........so Fred, we hope you find comfort knowing you are in our thoughts.

 

[CDNpontiac409guy]

oh man... Fred, I am truly sorry.
What I CAN say is, your gesture of signing that so-important card... THANK YOU !... it proves that you are strong, and at such a terrible time, still thinking of others

I hope you can still make Kansas City in September... I'd very much enjoy hearing you, in person, tell us all about Verna.



Aubrey

 

[bjburnout]

Hello Fred
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sure the decision for the organ donations was made by both you and Verna and Fred this just shows what a wonderful couple you are.
Through this great gift Verna will be here and many people will continue to enjoy life.
This is a tough time now Fred, but through your caring and love of Verna and others you will make it through.

God bless you and your family

BJ

 

[dq409]

Fred , I also am at a loss for words,,,,,,,,

Hang in there friend and use the strength of your family and friends to help you through this.

Our thoughts are with you,,,,,,,,, Jim

 

[kbc409nova]

Fred
I am so sorry for your loss, just hang
in there.----Kevin

 

[tmracing62]

Fred-

Even my wife got tears reading your post. We're all in this with you and ready to be there for you. Just ask.

Tell us when and where once you make the funeral arrangements so we can all give you our silent attention during those moments.

Michael

 

[bluescreamer]

Fred

Hang in there, The Lord has other plans for you.
We are here to help you through these hard times.
Keep in touch.

Allen

 

[Phil Reed]

wonderful idea!!!

Tell us when and where once you make the funeral arrangements so we can all give you our silent attention during those moments.

That is a wonderful idea Michael. That way we can all participate.

 

[Fathead Racing]

Dear Fred.

I hope you will take some comfort that Verna is walking with some of her dear friends that have passed, and they will be taking care of her, I think she will find comfort knowing you are with dear friends here also. I'll be by your house in Sept. Untill then stay close to us here.

 

[SS425HP]

Ray, During a previous marriage, which ended in divorce as her husband was constantly cheating on her, Verna had a daughter. This was in 1989. Her name was Sara. About 4 months after Sara was born. Verna got pregnant again. She was not ready for this. I did know of her at the time, but not very well. When Sara was 11 months old, she died of SIDS. Verna was devastated.
She has always looked at little girls with an envious look. She could not ever just let them go with out talking to them or the parent. When she went shopping, she always looked through the little girl stuff. If she knew someone with a daughter that age, she would always buy something for them. As if it was her own.

The point of this is, now Verna and Sara can be together again. That is one consolation I have. We visited Sara's grave on many occasions.

I really do appreciate the condolances on here. This forum is the greatest there is. We are a close community. I only wish that you all had known Verna as I did. Phil got a little glimpse. I know we all think our spouse is the greatest. We are all right, too. But, I'd put this gal up against them all. This was both of us 3rd marriage. We both thought it was the best, and it took the other 2 to get it right. I sure don't think I can ever find another woman like her.

I know this rambles, and isn't really the place for all this. I do appreciate all you guys and your concerns. I will get through this.

The funeral will be next week. If you want, I will post details. Let me know.

Thanks so very much for all your thoughts and concerns.

Fred

 

[dq409]

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